Vanity project. It's a chart topper. Vanity. No. By crisis. My life crisis. Oh, are you? Not midlife crisis. But you don't have clarity. They're arrogant. Unless if you like it. You don't like clarity. Menopause. Oh, menopause? Your little vanity project. I'm losing my ex. It's a vanity project. I'm losing my ex. I'm losing my ex. A couch drop vanity project. That little vanity project. Project. It's tremendous. I love it. It's just a vanity project. Welcome again to a podcast swimming with bliss in late midlife. Oh, yeah. We got wellness products. Will you, Ross, join me, Helen, as we dive into an ocean of personal and professional development? I can't think of anything I'd more enjoy, Rose. It's filled with everything from positive affirmations to anal beads. To an okay. To anal beads. I didn't realize we're going there that quickly. Yes. Vanity project. We are 2 people in late midlife. Me, perhaps a little later than some, I. E. Yourself. You're a 72 chappy, aren't you? I was born in 1972. What a year. 1972. Oil shock, OPEC. Yeah. What else? Yes. What else? Pat Rafter was born in the same hospital as me in the same year. My heavens. So many collisions. Yes. I think it was the end of the Bretton Woods agreement, and and Pat It was. You know, whether the US currency was gold backed. Now it's just dollars upon dollars. Anyway, I don't know what you do with anal beads. I'm no stranger to the back door. Mhmm. Let it be said, I heart sodomy. But what? What is it with the beads? We will find out on this, The Vanity Project. It's to keep moths out. Also available on the Sundance Channel, an unlimited theatrical release, I don't think. The lifting weights between visits to doctors. Shit, wellness books and hot stones engulf them. Multiple Fitbits are strapped to their skin. And they've also got a Alright. You muscle bound, towering glory. I'm huge, aren't I? Fit and trim. Have you been working till you're muscle bound, Spandau Ballet? Well, I actually, today, jumped on the rowing machine because on it. I did jump well. That's not what you're supposed to do, sir. No. But I did jump on the rowing machine because I knew it would ask me this question, and I thought I might just sneak in a little bit of exercise just so I could say that I'd done some. Yeah. Rest of the week, not so much. Yes. Well, I've, I've been a busy mother of 3 about town building my Kundalini empire. How's that been going? Really, really well. I love my boys. I do. We're fruitarians and I make wonderful preserves only from dropped fruit. I named them all after Auden. Oh, really? Yeah. They're all called Wiseton Hugh Auden. Oh, that's delightful. It is. It is. No. Sadly, this this womb has never done any work. I think it's something that as a as a man, you're meant to think about. Right? Men are meant to start worrying about the fact that they might lose some virility. I do not. Because you have far too much? Well, yeah. Exactly. It's literally just leaching out of me into that seat at the moment. But the idea that I've been told the same thing about myself. Yeah. But the idea that I might be coming to the end of my potentially productive years, or at least it'd be much less likely. That sounds great Mhmm. To me. Not, of course, that you have a voracious sexual appetite for any bit of skirt. That's not how people describe you, Musk. No. Not at all. No. Not like our friend Elon Musk or anybody like that. Is that what they say about Elon? He's having a competition with his father to see who can leave the most masks on the planet. Well, it's in the name, isn't it? My mask. I'll smother you in my mask. Elon, if you're listening, and I know discerning podcasts for the Gen X are your kind of bag, do email me. Helen@badhostess.com. We've got to get a website. We do need to get a website. That's probably something that I could do. I did that sort of thing for a lot of years. But did you do it while you were lifting? No. I never did it while I was lifting, actually. Fit and trim. We ask each other every week. You may note that as a misogynist, it is not yet thought to ask me what I did to refine my physical form. Well, no. It's because I was brought up that way, Helen. You you don't ask ladies about, you know Yeah. But it's in the fucking rundown. Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. And your week, Helen? Well, my week, if you look at my skin, you may note that beneath my unusually expensive, well, it's not so much a foundation as it's a tinted skin wellness product. Oh, okay. Yes. I put that over because I had radio frequency driven into my face down to the dermis, I think 2 millimeters below my epidermis, all over my face. But Really? Yeah. A lovely lady called Sheree. Is is it done with some kind of a roller or something? Not not a roller. It's done by Sheree. And she's and she it's it's some kind of device. Yeah. She places numbing ointment, and it's called, so, I have to say, microneedling, not not not a great result. Okay. First up. Well, how long are you meant to let it cook for? Well, I think more than 2 days. Right. I'm assured that there will be months taken off my visage, and I shall be swimming, in bliss. Is this something that I should be having a crack at? I don't know. I mean, why ever not? Oh, I tell you what. What? I'm doing something. I'm doing something, and I will strive to bring a tape recording device. Yeah. I'm going to do hip hop class with my friend, Francis Leach, tomorrow. We're doing beginner what why are you fucking laughing? I just think it's a fantastic idea. I know. It's, perhaps you might say that it's a form of cultural appropriation. Whereas I say it will be an unwieldy embarrassment for all concerned. You are listening to vanity project. Who are we but some bags of water set against the temporal immensity of natural history Just on this planet, don't even think about the fucking universe. No. I won't. Yeah. And let You never do. No. About the only time I do is when I go to see the Deadpool films. Have you seen the Deadpool films? I have seen the Deadpool films. I Do you quite like them? I do quite like them. They're very funny, aren't they? They yes. They are very, very funny. I have nothing bad to say about them. I don't either. They they do what they say on the tin. Right? Yeah. They say it's gonna be a Deadpool film, and at the end of it, you've seen a Deadpool film. Yeah. Yeah. No. I, What more can you ask? Yes. It's, what what do the young people call self reflexive post modernity, reference to the self the the meta. He's very he's very meta. He's a meta character. He he is very meta. Yeah. It's look, it's not like going to see a Lanthemos film. Right? Where you see a film that's called the lobster, and you're expecting to see a lobster throughout the entire film, and never happens. Yeah. And, like, where the fuck's Goddo? Never shows. Yeah. He doesn't. Oh, sorry. Spoiler alert. That'd be fun. It'd be fun to, like, be a you know, do spoilers at a Beckett play, wouldn't it? It'd be fantastic to do a Beckett play where Godot shows up, like, just 15 minutes in. Oh. Oh, no. Here you fucking are. I mean, clever, but dull. Yeah. Ross and Helen on Vanity Project after just 2 weeks. It's a chart topper. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. And many, many reviews on all formats. And, I quite like this immaculate 5 star. Mhmm. The new pornographic precondition of my pleasure. I didn't know that my mom had heard it. Oh, why is that joke? Oh, it's fucking funny. You you that's like a meta. Your mom joke. You did it to yourself. That's the only way that you can do it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm really not prepared to call your mom a slut yet. No. Absolutely not. Because my my mom actually has, like, a Stasi like whisper network of people who get back to her with things that I do. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds terrifying. Unlike Vanity Project, which is a rich and, might I say, rightly journey into the gendered imagination of a man and a woman that advances non toxic selfhood for all concerned in now it's fucking not. We're just having a chat. So I wanted to ask you a question. Please go ahead. I I I find that there are things in the criminal code of Australia and elsewhere that ought not to be criminal, like most of it. Mhmm. Yep. Okay. I'm with you so far. But I figure that if we're going to live in the carceral state under bourgeois rule as eager abolitionists, like, we should wax some more stuff in. Like, if you were queen Sure. Or I were king, I mean, we'd have a kind of like a a a theocracy, I imagine, is what we do, and the religion would be basically ourselves. Yep. What would you what would you make a criminal activity? Well, I'd probably start with the really important things, like ensuring that people walk on the correct side of the escalator. Oh, shit. Yeah. I would I would actually mandate that. Stationary on the left. Absolutely. To make room on the right. For people to be late for the train and what's not? Exactly as we do with driving and as we have done with horses and ships for 1000 of years. That's what we do. Yeah. And so, yeah. If you're sorry. If you're walking on the wrong side of the footpath, or if you're one of these people who kind of just has a bit of a meander, I don't know. It's like a short prison sentence of maybe 3 to 6 years. Yeah. With mandatory training. I mean, you you you're not you're not cruel. You're quite a liberal commander in chief, aren't you? You would you would rehabilitate them. Yeah. I would. Look, I've I've learned a lot of things from reeducation camps. Yeah. They had some good ideas. What? The distinctive vanity project. I don't know why. You're an unpleasant git. That's why. We're old. This is a wellness podcast. The thing that I would add to the criminal code, and again, I think that I would make this penal law, like, true discipline, not a fine. People who eschew different media, cultural goods. Like, people who used to say, we only watch the ABC. Mhmm. We only watch the ABC. Yeah. They still say that, but they also yeah. There's there is an there is a hard cadre of people who watch the ABC only so that they can say that they don't watch it. Very hard cadre of those people. Really? Yeah. Absolutely. Am I one of these? I don't know. You don't really talk about the ABC as much as I do. I like to I like to watch the ABC just to get myself up to a head of steam, like this kind of just a Fuck, it's bad. Just to a just to a It's bad. Yeah. They asked me to a birthday party recently. I thought that I was Well, that's that's that's the first mistake. I know. I know. I'll just ruin everybody's fun. Yeah. A 100 or something like that. This is Australia's state media broadcaster. Oh, no. It's not it's not state media. It's not a propaganda story. Yes, it is. Mhmm. Absolutely. I mean, you you know which editorial direction everything is going to take. Yeah? You don't. Yeah. China? Let's get the Australian Sinophobic Policy Institute on. I mean, seriously. It's not like the days when they had Rosemary Church doing, Australia TV International doing this late night broadcasts. That was great. Yeah. Yeah. She was she was quite she was a hottie. Rosemary Chart. She had a a touch of the Malcolm Turnbull, like, just the right amount of succulents on each of her consonants. Very formative for me. In an intellectual, capacity? Sure. If you like. And then we don't have a television. Well, you've got, like, 95 other screens, haven't you? Yeah. Look, I don't I would like to maintain some friendships, but I do have friends who don't have television, but have borrowed my logins for streaming services. Yeah. So what are they I mean, I know where they're watching it on. I had a damn psychologist who would make pronouncements of the sort. Really? Yeah. This kind of like grasping for some form of authenticity. And I I recently was told electronic books are not for me. Well, similarly, I find that people making that statement are absolutely not for me. That is a private matter that goes on between your own carnal self and Mhmm. And your paperback. Do do you like when people volunteer the idea that something is not for them when you've not asked? Yes. Yes. Very much. Well, do you you like that? No way whatsoever. Oh, good. Good. Defining oneself because one eschews something, because one is non toxic, one hasn't been polluted by modern ways. I mean, as a legally blind lady, I can always, you know, have a little bit of a quivering lip, and and make my apologies, and say, well, I personally find the days of pinch and expand a great deal of help, and and then I get all all choked up. But I I really don't understand that. I mean, by all means, you know, continue to bang on, of course, with your clever and tasteful preference for, reading real books containing real shit rather than in their electronic or Heavens to Betsy audiobook. Oh. I I am I am a very big fan of people telling me that I haven't read a book when I've listened to the audiobook. It's a treat. It's ridiculous. I mean, there are some books. I think some works of what what is commonly agreed, you know, in the age before the Internet and everybody became a wonderful czar of literary taste throughout the ages. And a Karenina, for example, which I understand is very well translated into English, the rhythms of that can be discerned far better. And I think people sub vocalize when they read in any case, you know? I mean, I think I'm gonna make it my business to do Ricochet Dillard's Fucking Purdue on audiobook. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I read Proustie on Audible. Can you just say, the the word you used again? Proost? No. Never. Fuck. No. You were talking about effectively, it sounded like you were saying that people read to themselves. Oh, I think some vocalize? Yeah. Is do you mean that people just while they're reading? Yeah. I I think so because, I mean, it's it's no, problem to do. I mean, this is old information really, so I shouldn't far be it for me to go on ill informed about the topic at hand as though I am entirely sure. And and, I mean, this is not the age for any kind of that. I I think in speed reading, you're encouraged to use chewing gum. This was what I was told once when I went at the age of 15 to an adult learning class, you know. Is this like a kinesthetic memory thing? I don't know. Okay. I don't know. I think, you you don't as a child, did you have that completely immersive style of reading wherein no one could, like, puncture the the membrane between you and reality? Yes. Yeah. And then it disappeared. Right? Yeah. Absolutely. I can no longer read if anybody's making any noise. Where I could until I was about in into my forties. Yeah. And I could put out the rest of the world. But now, any interactions from anybody else, and I'm I'm out. And and I think that that is the place where, the frontal lobe rests a lot of the time where where reading is concerned I find it very very difficult to return to the the super focus of childhood but so you're reading and you're not reading, you're reading and you're self vocalising. I don't know, Look it up. Fucking Google it. I'm just So, you know, isn't that isn't that marvelous, you fucking TED talker? They'd be the sorts of people who would watch a TED talk, you know? Yeah. And and by Amanda Palmer, I can't stand her. I cannot stand her. And do you know what she did? Large international coterie of devout listeners stunk up Melbourne with her wedding. Did she? Yeah. Yeah. She got married here Oh. To Neil Gaiman. Don't know if they're still together. Don't know why I wasn't invite. Really pissed off about that. You're listening to Vanity Project. It's really a wonderful time to be barely alive, is it not? The menopause of Western civilization, and here we are in our own endocrinological decay. So don't make me say that. Ross's ruminations, baby. What you've been thinking, you deep deep deep thinker? Well, you've been, you just mentioned before. Maybe you didn't mention before, so I'll just say it. Well, I've been mentioning it during our every interaction because I need attention. That you're about to move house. Yes? Mhmm. I need to be closer to you. Fair enough. How stressful are you finding it? Not really. I mean, annoying, because, you know, mom's not talking to me, and she said she was gonna do the end of lease clean. Right. It's meant to be one of the we're told it's meant to be one of the most stressful things around. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I've heard that. I think I probably first heard it when I first moved as an adult. Well, you know, fugitively an adult at about the age of 18. Oh, it's very stressful. Very stressful. It's meant to be right up there with, like, losing somebody, like, losing a spouse or some other kinds of trauma. That's what people say. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. Absolutely. And people say it with a great deal of conviction, including George, my psychiatrist. I mean, good psychiatrists, it so happens are occasionally people very, very annoying, and they can lapse into everyday conversation. He said, oh, yeah. A bit stressful. They say it's one of the most stressful stressful events in your life. I'm like, George, $400 an hour, George. You you don't want that. I want journal reviews for this. And, I mean, because he like, he's not a research, psychiatrist, but, you know, quite scholarly in his approach. Yeah. If a surgeon said something like that to you, like you were going in for, say, to have your gallbladder removed, and they said something like, yeah. Did you have that? Gallbladder removed? Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Oh, my god. That's so on brand. It really is, isn't it? I was I was actually waiting for for my first disease of excess, and I was glad it was that not gout. Oh, no. Gout. There's something very villainous about gout that I quite like. Yeah. But I don't want it. I'm happy to have Apparently, it's very painful. Not surpassing a gallstone Mhmm. Is kid's play. No, it's it's not. But the surgeon said something like that. He'd be like, what? You should know this stuff. Why why are you talking about it in this particularly weird manner? Yeah. I've don't like it. I like my brain doctors to be soviet and kind of very taciturn. Yeah. But I I spend years devilishly developing a plan. My agenda at every meeting is to make them like me. That's very important to me. Right. I'm so mine at the moment is to make sure that never happens to me again. I I don't want them You meant my shrink. Yeah. Yeah. Your shrink is lovely. See our mate, Lloyd play. We did. Yeah. We should get him on. He's funny. He is funny. Yeah. He's a funny fuck. He doesn't mean to be. But getting back Hey, Lloyd. No. No. No. But I I will I will say he gave me, he gives he gives me journal articles, you know, because, I mean, one of the very few things that I've been interested in in in the last kind of long period of, like, absolute despair, I guess, has been mental illness in himself. So at least I'm getting a little bit of leisure time reading in. Right. The last one he gave me was about how Botox Mhmm. Cosmetic Botox injections, can, actually improve the mood. I would believe that. Yeah. Yeah. Because one can't do the, mine's probably worn off, but you see, my my frown is not fully, expressive of a frown. I mean, you know, sufficient. You see, so it's a sort of behavioral thing. It's like Mhmm. Cognitive thing. Yeah. Absolutely. You get it? You can't you can't frown. So you frown less often. Interesting. But going back to the the stressfulness of moving, after you talked about it, I wanted to find out more. Because one of those things that I've just thought that doesn't sound anything like it could possibly be real, and it's not. It's based on this thing called the Holmes and Ray stress scale. Yeah. The Holmes and Ray stress scale is something from the 19 sixties, where, a couple of people whose names are Holmes and Ray put together 43 stressful events and rated them in levels of stress from 11 100 Mhmm. Down to 0. 100, I think, was, you know, literally, spouse dying. Yep. And where do you think moving house was? Well, I'm presuming that it was up there, given that there has to be a scare egg, you know, a germ of research intelligence. 20. Really? Yeah. Yeah. It's it's below so many things that it's ridiculous. It's it's below losing a pet. I think it's below getting a bad haircut. It's it's not that bad. It's what occurs when scholarly research, which is boring as shit, falls into grubby hands like ours. Because, I it was, my memory of it is not so clear, but it was when George said this thing and I demanded evidence. Mhmm. Because I I couldn't possibly believe. There are you you can say within the context, of scholarship that it that some stress threshold models actually find that it is one of the most stressful events. But what did you what did what did you what did your girlfriend Mark Twain say? Lies, damn lies, and statistics? Is Mark Twain my Mark yeah. Okay. Mark Twain could be my girlfriend. I don't know if he actually said that because there's about half the internet attributes half of the quotes in all Christendom to Mark Twain, but he was a clever bastard. I don't think I've ever actually read any Mark Twain. Oh, no. In my life. You don't have to. I've never read any of Winston Churchill's tedious, surrey either. But, you know, I've got to admit for a conservative, he was good with a quip. Who's ever read Dorothy Parker? One review. That's all you need to read. And it's this book should not be tossed aside lightly, it should be thrown across the room with great force. Fantastically enough, it was Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged. Ayn Rand, any of your mates, you start getting told by the algorithm to to read Ayn Rand, just get a new friend. Yeah. I think I think that's a that is tremendously good advice. She was a laugh though, wasn't she? I guess. Just somebody else that I've assiduously avoided based on the kinds of people that talk about them. Mhmm. You can make pretty good judgments on certain pieces of culture based on the types of people who recommend Yeah. To me. We we are hugely hypocritical, aren't we? Not me. But we know we're right. Here on Vanity Project with Ross and and Helen, we're, we're encouraging you to live your best life authentically. No. Don't do that. That is fucking bad advice. Do not be your authentic self. Do not get in touch with your id. Do not use your typical turn of phrase. Just pretend to be somebody else, somebody positive. Or just keep living your public self. Yeah. I think that's that's that's the kind of the safe area. Yeah. And don't get a job in your late teens being in a loud mouth whore, as I did. That worked really well for me, that persona, for a while. Stroppy. I did. You you were stroppy. Well, I am I not still stroppy? You were no. But I so at the time, I knew of you from a distance as a as a young kid listening. Young kid, feeling younger than you. Yeah. You are. Yeah. Young kid listening to Triple j, and I was like, just woman's scaring the shit out of me. Yeah. And now you scare the shit out of me less. Not an uncommon reaction in life as in, but, you know, it was you're getting affirmed for for like, it's not good. It's not good. I became my job. Right. You know? Long after I'm still I still broadcast at people. I'm like a fucking transmission teller. Whether he wants it or not. Yeah. I got warm fuzzies. I got too many warm fuzzies. Not not sufficient cold pricklies. Just like the the the gym cans of nineties broadcasting. Speaking of pricks devoid of taste, you know, there's things in the world that, you know, lots lot of people would say, oh, well, this is this is a reviewer will say, well, this is this this work has been unfairly maligned, or, it got a bad rap, or it was overlooked. You know? Because I don't know, people have to have opinions or something. It's like, you know, I mean, we really overlooked this. I can't think of an example yet. Of something that people say was, like, unfairly maligned? Yeah. I I can give you one Yeah. Go ahead. Which, the second Jet album. It wasn't a great record, but it didn't deserve the absolute drubbing that it got. Yeah. But, I mean, honestly, like, rubbishing Jet was a fucking national sport, and I was all for it. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Thank you. But jet there was shit. They were like, once you see a fun turn about it. How how could they look at themselves? How could they do that to rock music? There there is nothing wrong with rock and roll music that just wants to have a good time. Yeah. But that is not like, listen to the Casanova's. Right? Mhmm. They rock out. Or the hives. The hives rock. Mhmm. But it's it's not good time. It's what I believe the new left critic Frederic Jameson calls a pastiche, where it's sort of like beyond the point of parody, where it's just like little things, little riffs, just borrowed from the past and then pasted together in a form of simulation, you know, which is to say they're crap and that that, you know, it's daggy. Daggy? They're like daggy. And also Well, daggy is a crime. Were the Strokes not making music at precisely the same time? Yeah. But the Strokes didn't put out another decent record till last impressions on earth. Yeah. I think we need to, like, explore this, in a kind of like a a safe workshop scenario. Okay. Because I don't think you should talk about the strokes like that. I think the strokes have put out some incredible records. I think that, their single, Gratisfaction, is probably one of the best singles to come out in the past 15 years. Yeah. But it's the Thin Lizzy song. I mean, it's a good Thin Lizzy song. Yeah. But it's a Thin Lizzy song. Yeah. Alright. Sorry. So, where where were we at? We we we're talking about this. So, anyway, yeah. So there's there's lots of things which may be, you know, overlooked. Mhmm. Some cinema critic turd or other is always saying, oh, this delightful film Mystic Pizza was Julia Roberts' debut. It's an awful film, and I tell you what else is awful, that oh, what's that Cameron Twaddle who made Almost Fucking Famous Cameron Crowe? Yeah. Oh, god. Oh, that first one that he made, say anything, he's oh, shit. Mhmm. Also, John Cusick turned into a liberal economic bore. Oh, how fascinating. You've heard of John Maynard Keynes. That's just really good. He's gonna become one of those modern monetary theory people. That's a leisure pastime for people our age too. MMG, yeah, just spend more money, just spend more money, just spend more money. The government can keep printing money. Fuck off, you quantitative easing freak. Things that are unfairly praised. Things that are unfairly praised. Not damned by faint praise, but rather blessed by excessive praise. There are cultural artifacts that everybody says are awesome. Mhmm. And yet somehow they are not. Sure. Yeah? This is the thing. This is is this a thing that disturbs you? Yeah. Absolute yeah. Like, every Beatles record apart from Revolver. Like, seriously, it's terrible. Yeah. Okay. So The Beatles. Yeah. Beatles completely overrated. Except for Revolver. Except for Revolver, which I which I think is correctly apprised. Yeah? Absolutely. Like, I I I mean, I feel you. I feel you. I mean, like, given the choice of stones every time. Yeah. See, I'm a I'm I'm one I'm one of the worst guys. I'm a pet sounds guy. Alright. Okay. So The Beatles. I I can can we go smaller? We can we can we not start Blessed by quite there. Blessed by great praise. Any suggestions? Yeah. Sure. Sure. Helen at bad you you, mate. Not you. Oh. Your dick. My dick. Helen at bad hostess.com. So, no, I don't want you to be all kind of like, you know, that's annoying too. That Sure. Surprising criticism. Oh. You know? I'm taking a stance. I don't like the Beatles. I mean, come on. Right? It's like, you know, Patrick White, not much of a novelist. I mean, if people Okay. Still care about books. I'm being awful to my friend, my one friend here on Vanity Project. Okay. No. Look. I get you. There's something cocky about the Beatles. I concede. Sure. So then, are you talking about, for example, the the films of Wes Anderson that don't have Gwyneth Paltrow in them? Or films that have Gwyneth Paltrow in them, but do not make her die. I love films where Gwyneth dies. How good. How good. Head in a box 7. Brilliant. A bit Contagion? Contagion. Oh my god. You see, you know, the founder of bloody goop. I mean, describe it for me. Contagion's a good film. Oh, yeah. I mean, I at the start of lockdown, I was like, this kinda reminds me of Contagion. Why don't I just watch Contagion? And if you're listening in 2020, do not watch Contagion right now. It's a little bit disconcerting. Spoiler. Gwyneth's Patient 0. Yeah. Gwyneth's Patient 0, because she's a big slut. She's a whore. Uh-huh. She doesn't care where she puts it. Does not, and you know? Points that badge everywhere. More power to her. Trim. Open for business. That's right. 247. More power to her. No. Ladies would do well to keep their legs together in this day and age. I think we don't even have orgasms. Right. No. I'm I'm joking. Oh. Yeah. I mean How how do I know? Yeah. So she becomes patient 0. Yeah. And then there's just just a magnificent scene of them peeling off, basically, the front of her head so they can move her brain. I you know, I'm I'm normally not what you call an autopsy connoisseur, but there Mhmm. You know, when Gwyneth Paltrow dies in a film, you're in for a good night out. Yeah. It is generally quite good. It doesn't happen enough anymore. Yeah. I mean, I I used to be the same about Meg Ryan. Like, I used to like watching Meg Ryan suffer in films. Yeah. And then I saw the film Courage Under Fire in which it is the retelling of a particular battle in Desert Storm when everybody tells a different version of her death. Yeah. And then I was done with it. I've I've seen it enough times. Well, I don't think she should be allowed to do that. She's in the romantic comedy of all time. Yeah. So this is her trying to break out of it, and she did she does so many different death scenes in the one film. It's quite something. And it's got a really, really thin, very young Matt Damon in it. I think we're gonna drop this segment idea because we're going completely off track. Thank you for your company. Thank you. At least past the 62nd point. Here's Ross. I am Helen. It's been a funny weekend of weather here. We're not quite ourselves. Has been, a little bit what what would you say? Unsettled. Yeah. Yeah. Just like you are in late midlife. Much in common with Western Empire. The lights are nearly out, the decay is on the inside, yet you're still trying to keep it Keep up appearances. That's what we're doing here on Vanity Project.