Humans are in can be very messy and complex creatures, particularly in relationships, particularly when they're falling apart. When it's your own body that's miserable and it's crying out for some love, you have no obligation just to suffer through that when there is something you can do. Nobody else has that story. Only you do. Welcome to How to be an Adult, a podcast created by the practitioners at the Morpheus Clinic For Hypnosis in Toronto, Canada. This is a show for people just like you who've inadvertently become adults and don't know what to do about it. I'm Luke Chao. And I'm Pascal Langdale. And this is the trail guide that your parents never gave you when you turned into the age of majority and became an adult. So this is our attempt to democratizing and putting it out there, how to be more self assured, self loving, and give you more useful and practical tips on how to be an adult. In today's episode, we're gonna talk about how to cope with a breakup, which is perhaps a situation when you really do need someone reliable in your life telling you to eat, to sleep, to use your heart because it's not broken. It's just injured. So this will kind of borrow from our episode on grief and our episode on self love. The first of 7 points we want to make is that when you're going through a breakup, you are grieving you're grieving the loss of the relationship and the person and a shared future together So for you to go through the stages of grief, which I know are not perfect, but for you to kind of expect that you're probably going to be sad and you're probably going to be a little angry sometimes and you're going to at some point be in denial. Well, this recognizes that you're a normal human being. This is what everyone goes through and there's nothing uniquely wrong with you or broken about you just because your emotions are all over the place. And that word broken comes up a fair amount. And although the sensation might be that your heart is broken, I think in many ways it's well, grief can be an absence, but it can also be a complete rearrangement of all the things that you thought of as being true and reliable and, you know, rearrangement as well because there are repercussions on friends, there are repercussions with family, there can be repercussions outside your own personal relationship as well. But knowing that you're not broken, unless there is, obviously, you can have, you can put your heart through such stress that it is possible to have a heart condition. But assuming that that is not the case, then it is impossible for you to have an actual broken heart. It can be bruised, it can be challenged, but it's never broken. Your heart will pull through. And even if it doesn't feel that way, you can look around, basically, to any other human being on Earth that's had any kind of experience in life, And you will see hearts that have recovered from extraordinary experiences. And you can also look at your own life earlier when usually by the time we're past 18, we've suffered at least one major disappointment and loss and seldom lead us anyone marry their high school sweetheart. So you can even look at yourself to see that you personally heal from a wounded heart. And if even right now you're suffering a loss, if you take your hand and you put it over your heart, you're gonna be able to to feel it beating, which indicates to to us at least that it's not broken even while it's wounded. And to sort of fill out the sense of what's lost as well, perhaps, because that's really the issue, if you like, is the what has been lost. And meaningful connections with other people is such a pivotal part of the human experience that to lose a meaningful connection, lose, physical touch well. That often means that you lose physical touch. Even just having a hug, for instance, shows that it's it helps with endorphins and with the hormones that help you relax, that help you feel good with the world. And often with a breakup, your response is to pull back and to withdraw and withdraw from all forms of, relationship, all forms of good connection. And that's just the time actually when if you do have people that you can look to to lean on to have a human connection with, that's the time to actually do that, I'd say. Well, that leads into our second point, which is that when a breakup is a process of grieving, then where all of this emotion and pain is leading is acceptance. Just like when all the hamsters and goldfish that as a child I had lost eventually led to my acceptance that they were gone. Eventually, you'll reach a point where you will have completely wrapped your head around the new reality that the person who you thought could be your life partner is not going to be your life partner and your future life partner is somewhere else. Yeah. There's there's, something that somebody once said to me is that it's not that the end point is going to be a sort of a final deciding yes, no to your ex, or positive or negative feeling about your ex. The desired point that you want to get to is one of basically neutrality, which is alongside of acceptance. I would say neutrality towards the past is is useful. In some ways, it's easy when you're grieving as well to look back into the past as if it was in color, as if it was that was where all the happy times were. That's where all the good things were, and no new good things will come. But part of the acceptance, I think, is to allow that to go into the, you know, the the gray sepia of the past and say the future has potential to have color in it. Even if you don't feel like it at the time, it's it's worth accepting that that's a possibility. It's the light at the end of the tunnel. So in the darkness, if you're gonna orient yourself in some direction it shouldn't be a past that you can't change and which is already over it should be where the light at the end of the tunnel is because when you're looking in that direction you start to move in that direction and the more you can bring yourself to accepting that it's over, the sooner the pain will end. In some cases, there's a desire to hold on to the grief because it's a connection to something. That that's something that almost becomes familiar and associated with the value of what's lost. And that's true of grief as well as it is with relationships as well. In some ways, you can't be like Hamlet and grieve too long. There will come a day where you've got to step out into the, you know, into the sunlight. You've gotta take a step and say, okay, that is done. Now what's next? What's the next chapter in the story? Be able to close that chapter. And again, even if you don't believe it at the time or at this moment when you're watching this, there will come a time where this chapter will end. It certainly will just like as in other phases in your life, whatever they were, they had a time, they had a turn, they had a beginning, a middle and an end. Maybe you didn't think this was going to end this way, however, it has. And that in itself is evidence that that was not meant to be your future. What I've extracted from what you said is that your journey continues. And I would suggest that your ex's journey continues too. As long as life continues. There's gonna be a future. It's not the end of your happiness. It's not the end of you being loved. It's not the end of you being recognized as a worthy valued human being when a relationship ends When you're going to have a future, well, first, you'll be loving and accepting yourself. And then at some point on a long enough timeline, someone else is gonna notice you're lovable. Our third point is that at the end of a relationship, no one has to hang their head in shame. No one has to think it's the end of their life or their lovability. Both parties can walk away with their self esteem, their self respect, their self worth intact if each person's willing independently to remember that they're still worthy human beings. So often we kind of feel almost obliged for, you know, if it's not them for us to feel ashamed to feel completely rejectable and not just rejected by 1 person, but rejectable overall. But there's no such obligation. I would suggest that that a healthy breakup is one where both people are walking away with their dignity, with a sense of self worth, with their heads held up high. And this is it's not just possible. This kind of thing happens every time you hear about people who are still friends with their ex. So, you know, there's definitely no obligation to throw dishes and there is no obligation to hide yourself from the world for the next 2 weeks. There is such a thing as breaking up with dignity. Part of that though is that humans are in can be very messy and complex creatures, particularly in relationships, particularly when they're falling apart. And so, it might be hard for some people to hear that, my ex did this, this and this, which was incredibly hurtful and surprising all those things. Or you're on the other side and you're saying, I did this, this and this. I'm a terrible person. And I think going back to reaffirming, in some ways it doesn't really, but it doesn't actually matter what you did or didn't do. I mean, it matters. It matters because it hurt people and you can take responsibility from that, but ultimately it doesn't have an effect on your value and your worth as a human being. Particularly, if you can use whatever has happened or whatever behavior showed up when you're under such duress to learn from about who you are and how you behave and what you can learn from that. And that turns something which could be a tragedy that ends up with recrimination and a lifetime of regret and hatred. And it can turn it around to a revelation of what's possible in your own behavior and a greater understanding of your responsibility in a relationship and therefore a greater forgiveness for whatever it is the other person did and self forgiveness for whatever it is, whatever role you took in that as well. Because most relationships don't fail because of just one person. There's there's 2 people in the relationship and I'm not What I'm saying is you can Both parties can kind of release themselves and each others from uninstructive blame. Mhmm. And says each person's responsibility to take on responsibility for for what they did or didn't do. Mhmm. And from that, they can also allow the space that you both have fundamental intrinsic worth as human beings. And that if this breakup is occurring and it's difficult, it doesn't actually mean the other person is a bad person. It doesn't actually mean that you yourself are a bad person. To translate that into a self hatred, it is is not actually good for you or even good for ending the relationship in the most optimal way, I would say. Sometimes that kind of self hatred or conversely anger toward the other person comes from asking the wrong questions. What's that going? So let's say that after a breakup, you assume that there must be something wrong with you. So you ask yourself what's wrong with me? How could I have neglected my partner? How could all of this have happened? And why am I so unlovable, bad shape, whatever else it might be? And such questions that kind of assume you're bad will never produce a satisfying answer. Questions that assume the other person must have something wrong with them often produce no satisfying answer. I'll use this analogy. You probably have had this experience before where you're driving down the highway or or someone is driving down the highway and you're following like a red Honda. Right? And then for a 100 kilometers, you're following this red Honda. Right? And then you feel this pang of loss when that Honda takes an exit and you're driving forward now you're not gonna stalk the other driver. You're not gonna take an early exit because you're going straight forward. But we still feel that pang of loss. Mhmm. Right? Because our highway buddy is going off in their direction and we're going in our direction. That's how a lot of relationships end. Where there's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with the other person. You're just going to different directions in life. They call that incompatibility. But in this situation where you're going in different directions the question of what's wrong with me or what's wrong with them is never going to produce a satisfying answer because there is nothing wrong with either of you. You could ask questions instead like how do I find someone who's more compatible with me in the future? Who's going in other words to the same destination as me? Or maybe you'll ask what is that destination and how do I figure out the destination that the next person's going to so I make sure we're gonna at least have a chance of arriving at the same destination. And these kinds of questions to ask yourself are going to produce fruitful answers. But questions that kind of seek blame, like what's wrong with me or what's wrong with them, often just produce no satisfying, no helpful, no illuminating answer. I think I think it's sort of it's possible to be trapped in a sense of self examination, self approval sometimes even even if you're, you know, you know, essentially blameless as well. And there is a time for that. There is a time for self analysis, but not necessarily in the period of grieving, if you like. That will come, you know. And really, the question then becomes, well, how do you step away from that feeling of being closed off, being stopped, halted, and sort of static in time? How do you get it from that back into a reconnection with your mind and your body, and yes, your soul, and getting back to the point where you are owning the value of the seconds of your own life. And I think that getting to that point is the question that I think everybody ends up having to ask themselves again, whether it's grieving or whether it's a relationship is, how do I get back to that point of actually living and experiencing the adventure of my life just as my ex is now going to experience the seconds of theirs? How do I get onto that track as quickly as as is good? What I would advise a client to do is to look at 2 very different perspectives. One perspective is what persists on the long timeline of a human life. So you've got one heartbeat that continues in one thread throughout a human life. You've got still everything that made you lovable in the first place. You've got everything that made you dateable in the first place because your ex didn't take these things from you. You kind of brought these things to the table and you still have them. So to kind of account for everything that you have and that you still have and that you're going to have even 10 20 years into the future. Well, that is stabilizing and the other thing which is kind of like the exact opposite of that is to look at what is transpiring in each ongoing present moment because then your attention is not on a past which has no new information to extract and is not predictive of what's going to happen tomorrow. And you're also not going into the imagination, which gives no evidence of the future or of life at all. You're looking at what definitely is so right now. So let's say it's a beautiful summer day and I hear an ice cream truck. I'd be right to believe my eyes showing me it's a beautiful summer day and my ears telling me there's an ice cream truck. And then if I go outside and I ask the ice cream man for an ice cream cone, then to enjoy that ice cream cone in that moment, as temporary as it is, it reminds me that there are joys in life. There are pleasures in life that there are the good things. I can't find all of that in just the imagination. I can't find it in memories of the past, especially if after a breakup, I'm ruminating on the person I've lost. But I might find in the ice cream truck something that might ground me and bring me back to to the current reality. So, remembering that you can exist more in the here and now, and to be open and implicit in what you've just said about ice cream is that you're open to the potential for joy in the present moment because it's easy to shut yourself off from that. And so deciding to refine even to now until now until now to move from moment to moment looking for what life could offer up as joyful. Whether it's the sunlight through, I don't know, a glass of water, or whether it's, you know, a sun puddle. I'm using sun analogies a lot because it's obviously it's late spring here. So, being open to that is an act of self care which is really into our next point, into our 4th point, which is that there's being in the moment and looking to the evidence of your eyes and ears in the here and now, but also, therefore, being open to whatever joy that life can offer to you in that moment. Life will offer up things to you in those moments that might surprise you. And just being open to that is the beginning of a process of allowing the possibility of joy in the future. And it is there in the moment, the possibility of having the metaphorical ice cream, if you like, is available in every moment. Even if you don't feel like it. And that's again, I keep on returning to that because it's similar to depression in the sense that whilst you are grieving the loss of a relationship or in grief, it can seem impossible that you will ever feel differently. And that's got to be corrected by saying, as you pointed out, you know, you can look to times in the past but also look to the here and now. And doing the here and now is actually the epitome of self care which is our our 4th point. Is that in these times, these are the moments when you do need to pay attention to yourself, to become your own source of compassion, your own source of self reassurance. That the behaviors, even if it's just getting out of bed and drinking a glass of water and treating yourself with care and compassion for having gone through a painful experience, though those are the first steps. You don't need to think about the top of the mountain and the next relationship at that point, but just getting through the day with the the beginnings of self care, I think, is is probably the best advice I'd give to anybody at that point in their life. Have a drink of water, don't worry about them tomorrow or the day after, attend to yourself, attend to being your own source of self care and compassion. Internally, we we often feel like our feelings are just there. Mhmm. And they're not to be changed or altered. But if we have a crying baby it's gonna be actively cruel and neglectful just to accept they're not happy without even trying to do anything about it. So after a breakup, let's say that, you know, after getting the glass of water and having an ice cream cone, you return back to bed alone. And the natural feeling is that sense of loss, emptiness, pain. Well, it is possible to use the same heart that loves others to love yourself to and to contain that love within, which is my current best articulation of what self love as an intentional act would entail. And this means that you don't just have to sit with the pain and the loss and the grief, though you can. And the feelings are valid. What you would want for a friend who's going through a similar situation and what you might say to a friend who's going through a similar situation might be exactly what you would need in that moment. So thankfully, us human beings have the privilege of being able to think to ourselves where we're not just like mechanical robots. And with our ability to think to ourselves, we are able to direct our attention to something we do have or someone we do have or a circumstance we do have, which makes it feel less empty. And we can direct our attention to a good circumstance perhaps and then we feel less pain. We feel less sad And just like a parent should make an attempt to comfort the crying baby when it's your own body that's miserable and it's crying out for some love, you have no obligation just to suffer through that when there is something you can do. I feel like this message is not really spoken enough. Often, we feel like our feelings are just kind of sacred and we shan't even try to alter them. But that again, it's it's like watching the crying baby and just observing them scientifically and like there's nothing you can do about it. Right? It's actively cruel and neglectful. To to speak to that, the roots of that, if you like, are the roots of the attachment theory. Right? So, I think a lot of people may be unfamiliar with the idea that when I when I am upset is a good time to give myself care and compassion and self love because perhaps that's not the reaction that they got. Mhmm. That's not the that's not how they were treated in previous years when they were growing up. So it's a To some people, it's gonna be a sort of a foreign idea. But here's the thing, just because it's for an idea does not make it any less true. That's one thing. And the other thing would be, I would I just recommend trying it. They should try and putting your hand on your heart. Even if you don't feel like it, you can choose to be like somebody that does care for yourself. Be like somebody, what would they do? And even in emulating somebody like that and emulating somebody that does give themselves self compassion and self care, it becomes something which is becomes natural and instinctive even if you weren't told how to do that as you're growing up. Because as you say, that simple fact is often not spoken about enough and and, yeah, I think a lot of people assume that they either have to disassociate and say, I'm not here, I'm gonna run away from the emotion, or alternatively, these emotions are gonna envelop me entirely and that's my reality for the rest of my life, you know. Our podcast is called How to be an adult. So you don't actually have to emulate the other adults you grew up around. Yeah. When you are an adult and now you're hearing how to be an adult. And part of how to be an adult is to exceed your own parents and how much you love you. Yeah. If you can. Yeah. I mean, I'm assuming that many people listening to this podcast will find that easy and I'm hoping a large number of listeners find it hard to exceed their parents in how much they they love themselves. But for for those who find it easy to exceed their parents and how much they love themselves, you are already doing better than your parents did. Yeah. It doesn't matter if you weren't shown enough love as a child. When you have the adulthood today to decide you can do better than they did now that you have self authority. And that and that goes into our 5th point which is that nobody else gets to decide your worth. Nobody else gets to decide your value and that includes anybody in your childhood. That includes any adults in your life, you know, when you were growing up. As well as of course your ex or extended friends that you might lose or whatever. I mean, you know, again these repercussions sort of filter out in many occasions. Nobody has the right to judge your worth or to have the decision on your culpability, on how bad you should feel, on what you should or shouldn't have done. Nobody else has that story, only you do. In fact, only you know what it was like to be you through that experience. And for our listeners who are their own worst enemies, I would say sometimes even you are not the arbiter of your own worth. I'll phrase it like this. Your own worst thoughts about yourself, your own inner critic is not an arbiter of your worth, just like your ex is not an arbiter of your worth and all your other exes, they're not arbiters of your worth. I would suggest that if you're looking for the foundations of feeling like a worthy lovable human being, It's that you're a human being You have all the complexity, all the depth, all the feeling, all the potential, all the capabilities of a human being, and there's no such thing then as you ever being worthless. The term worthless, the concept of worthlessness, it applies to objects with commercial value. There's no such thing as a so called worthless human being. There are human beings who we recognize an intrinsic worth and value and dignity in. And then the extra things you do with your life, like if you are in a relationship and then you create more happiness in 2 people's lives. Or if you work in a job and then your job is of benefit to society well then you can feel even better than fundamentally a worthy human being But what I'm claiming here is that the baseline worth of a person is not 0. It's nowhere near 0. The baseline worth of a human being is what you recognize so easily in a new neighbor who's moved in across the street Where you know nothing about them except Oh they're a human being That's the baseline worth you have even when you're miserable in your own bed and it's 3 am and you had enough ice cream already and you still feel bad. What happened in that situation is you got distracted from the worth you have. It's not that you became worthless. It's you got distracted from it. Yeah. Even if you don't feel like you have any worth, that's not true and the possibly the only thing that you can do is just forget it. It doesn't and again, even if you forget it, you still have worth. And any friend or even a cat or a dog would remind you that you still have worth. They have an unwavering view of your worth. And I would suggest that that's a clear view of you. It's not your ex who decided to break up with you It's the person who never took their eyes off the worth you possess as a human being That's the perspective to align with yourself Our 6th point is that there are multiple paths to a happy and successful life. So your grief after a breakup is worse if you believe that your ex is the only person who can make you happy if you believe that the life you planned with them is the only future path that counts as a successful life. Well, then you compound your grief now I'm gonna suggest otherwise I'm gonna suggest there are multiple and perhaps even infinite paths to a happy life to a successful life. So I never knew I would become a hypnotherapist. Right? Even when I was 23 and I started my practice or 25 and I was in it already. And even when I was 30, I didn't think I'd be doing it in my forties. But now I am. And this turns out to be the path I did take and I have a fairly happy and successful life. But if, let's say, instead of hypnotherapy, I decided to pursue pursue a career in fine art photography, I can see myself being happy and successful having pursued a career in fine art photography. Or let's say that everyone who left swiped me on Tinder recently. You know, let's say that they write swipe me instead and I met them and I dated them. You know, there's more than one woman out there who I would be happy with. There's, you know, out of like 4,000,000,000 women on the planet, there's definitely many women out there who I could have a happy successful life with. So I would suggest it is a mistake to think that it's gotta be your ex or it's got to be that one path you planned with them or it's got to be that one vision of the future. I would suggest that, you know, if you kind of give everyone a bit of credit, there are multiple paths to happiness and love and success? It's very tempting to believe in the inevitability of consistency. So if something is good, that it will always be good and it's gonna be on that trajectory. And or alternatively, if something's bad, then it's gonna always be bad and it's always gonna come on that trajectory. But humans tend to be very drawn to the idea of a consistent outcome. It's what we're kind of built for in the sense that our predictive model, we need to map things in the world so that we can predict what's gonna happen tomorrow or the day after and day after. The better that we have that and more accurate we have that, the more reassured we are that all is well with the world. Well, then something like a relationship breakup or a death occurs and all those things become upset. Suddenly, your map of the world is challenged. It doesn't now The question is that, is all the map destroyed? Probably not. As you said, there are things about you that that are good that are still will always be true. There's other relationships that may actually flourish as a result. You cannot tell, you cannot predict. But that feeling of believing that this map was always going to be the same, that the pathway through life was going to be consistent. It's a very attractive one and it's hard to let go of, particularly if it's something that you loved. And that's really really hard, it doesn't matter if it's a job or whether it's a person. When life turns around and says that's not the path you're on, it can be hard to accept. However, I think you are absolutely right. You're bang on when you say you have to be open to the idea that there are manifold ways that you cannot possibly imagine, that really are only limited by the limits that you put on yourself as to what's possible. And that a new map, a new arrangement of what you expect to happen tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and how you expect the course of your life to go will be put in place. And it might be upset again, but that is part of the human story. I would point out that at no point ever in your life have you been able to predict even a minute into your future and yet you're alive and You lived your life moment by moment never being able to predict the next minute, let alone the next month or year or decade. You just kind of navigate by the evidence of your senses as your own perceptions show you a changing world and that's how you ended up at this point in time. So that's how you're gonna navigate the future. You don't have to necessarily have a map or a plan when you've never quite had one that was perfectly accurate ever. We can get very attached to the maps that we make. That's that's what I'm trying to drive at. So we can get very attached to the predictive models that we create when they are just that imaginative creative models. And and they can be accurate in the sense that they don't change for long periods of time, but it doesn't mean that change is impossible, nor does it mean that a new map is possible. It's, I think, Tyson who said, everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. Yeah. So, point 7 is that every relationship has an end date. Most relationships have an end date. Why wouldn't you say all? Because death. Well, I mean, but we get into a conversation about life after death, and do you reunite with with your partner in heaven? That's another episode. Yes. The reason this point is not just that most or all relationships have an end date and it's actually that it's not a bad thing for relationships to have an end date is that we do go through various phases of our lives. And it's supposed to be that elementary school has an end date. It's supposed to be that high school has an end date. We don't want such a thing to last forever even if you loved high school. It's supposed to be your 1st entry level job has an end date. It's supposed to be that when you outgrow a friendship, then that friendship is going to have an end date. The worst thing in my view is if elementary school or an entry level job or a friendship you've outgrown has no end date. I can't believe the idea of elementary school not having an end date. Yeah. So end dates are not innately a bad thing Right? Of course, we all hope for relationships and friendships that have no end date But usually, when the end date arrives, there is a reason for it. It's not completely out of the blue. It might be something in their heart. It might be something in your heart. It might be an incompatibility like with that red Honda. Mhmm. But there's gonna be some kind of sensible reason for why a relationship reaches an end date. And then to artificially prolong the relationship beyond the end date makes 2 people suffer and unnecessarily just like we all got stuck in elementary school for the rest of our lives. I I I don't know what I think about what I'm about to say, so bear that in mind. I heard somebody say that in their more advanced years should we say, that they had come to the realization that love existed in constant impermanence, and that instead of seeing love as being something which is a set thing, something which even compounds necessarily Mhmm. That there is no ownership to love. There is no set quota. It's the constant possibility of an end date that makes love quite so special. I think that's probably what they were trying to say. Right. Is that because life is chaotic, because we can't predict the future, because there are phases in life, because humans are messy, squishy, you know, brained, evolved apes or creations, then because of all those reasons, it's extraordinary when love does happen. And in that moment, going back to the here and now, that is the thing to be rejoiced at and embraced in that moment. And when it goes, it goes because it was never No love is for is is permanent. It's always around and it's always to be discovered, but it's never to be owned. I just thought of one person, you all know, who's guaranteed to be with you until the end of your life. And if you vow to this one person, you're never gonna abandon them. You're not gonna betray them. Then that vow can be fulfilled even if one day you're a 100 years old. Do you know who that person is? I won't make a joke, but go on. It's you. You are the only person guaranteed to be there if one day you're a 100 years old. If you vow to yourself right now, today, that you're never gonna betray you or abandon you even what other people do, you can fulfill that vow. No one else can make that vow to you. You can't make that vow to anyone else. Right? So even if you meet like the perfect life partner, what if you outlived them? And you're probably going to outlive your parents too. So if we're kind of looking for something constant, something stable, then self love and a good amount of it will be proportionate to the depth and the breadth of this guaranteed lifelong relationship. It's not too selfish. You've made me think of something else, which is the memento mori. Right? So, the remembering that you're going to die. Well, sure. To to go to the idea that any love between 2 people, 3 people, between your family is marked by the impermanence, if you like, of life's chaos. The only thing that you can say is that whilst you are living and whilst you are breathing, you can love yourself. Mhmm. And that if there is a permanent form of love, that would be it because it's as permanent for as long as you're alive. Mhmm. Yep. So by the time you're dead, I mean, you're not conscious enough to perceive your lack of self love. Thank you for listening. Pascal and I are both available for hire through the Morpheus Clinic for hypnosis in Toronto, Canada, and we see clients online. We see ourselves as practical philosophers in a way where we think on behalf of you to try to figure out the ideal thinking for the circumstances that you're in. So if you're going through a breakup, we'll add more detail on top of what you've heard here today. We offer to our new clients a free consultation and a written treatment plan. So if you might be in need of our services, contact us atmorphisclinic.com. And if you like what you've heard, today and you want to hear more, you can always go look at the back catalog or you can subscribe and follow at Morpheus Hypnosis on YouTube or you can find us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever it is you get your podcasts. Make sure that you, click on that button so you're notified of the next session, which I'm not quite sure what it's gonna be about. We have decided yet. Okay. Well, any suggestions just, throw them our way and we can add them to the list.