With Marriage podcast. My name is Jd, and I blog over at uncovering intimacy dot com. And today, we've got a short episode. Frankly, we had a big emergency at work that kept be working long hours on multiple days this week. I was also sick. I've got this headache. I can't see him to shake for the last week. And my boss is going on leave for a month in August. So we've been scrambling to close off projects so that I can step in as acting Cto of our family of 3 companies while he's gone. Given that we had few questions coming in in June, and they seem pretty straightforward. I did look like a good time to answer them. Now that said, clearly, I answered these not under my best circumstances. If you have differing opinions or even more thoughts to share, please feel free to do so in the comments on the blog post, there's a link in the show notes. And for those who don't know who are new here, these questions come from our anonymous Have a question page over at covering intimacy dot com. There's no contact or, there's no way to follow up these questions unless they come back and read the post or listen to the podcast. So what I've got is what I've got. And if you get frustrated by not having more context, what it is what it is. And lastly, if you're listening to this in the next couple of weeks, we are still running our latest survey. There's a link to it in the podcast episode notes as well, and there's a banner on the web that you can easily get to the survey from there as well. And I know sometimes it's really hard to go from a podcast answering a survey, especially if you're driving or something like that. But if you happen to remember, we really appreciate your data because Frankly, I'm not doing the analysis until we get at least a thousand people responding to it. So if you're curious about what kind of answers are in there, then you're gonna have to contribute. Don't wait for everybody else. Now, on to the questions. Question 1 is my wife feels like unless she is mean to our children, they will take advantage of her kindness. This results in calling her names and giving retribution punishments to them that evo the fear of her raw anger instead of correcting them in love. How do I be a protecting force for my children while balancing helping my wife grow up? My basic answer is family counseling. Honestly, it's likely that nothing you tell her will change this behavior. It's likely going to have come from someone who is both a subject matter ex expert and also has the authority and state requirement to report her if they deem it is at a level of abuse needing to them to be protected from her. I don't know how bad it is. You haven't given a lot of information here. So I don't know how serious it is. And I mean, you know, don't threaten that, but I would definitely invite her to family counseling. And then if she refuses, then I'd book an appointment myself and go with a kid so that you can learn how to put up healthy boundaries and protect your children. Question 2 is I saw you respond to a question about golden showers before saying that the driver for humiliation would be sin. I agree with that. However, some people say that there are other reasons they might want to as well, such as breaking a taboo or feeling physically closer to your partner via something coming out of their body. Do these reasons more specifically the Taboo 1 make golden showers sinful? No. I I can't think of reason that it would be. And I'm not sure what else to say about that. If you're curious about the other 2 posts where I talk about these, there'll be a link to them in the show notes. It's not something I've ever engaged in, but people seem to have a lot of questions about this. And moving along quick. Question number 3 is depending on the day and her mood. My wife will say things like she's not sure she really loves me. Or speaks of regrets of missed past loves. But if she is in a good mood, she says she loves me and says how amazing I am. It feels confusing for me. I think marriage love and staying away from a divorce is a choice and a promise we made when we got married in the hard or easy times. Do we need help? And do I just push through the valleys and ignore the things that she says? So this might be stress or mood swings due to hormones or could be an indicator of something more serious. I'm not qualified to diagnose if it's something more serious. And even if I was, certainly not with a small paragraph. I would suggest seeking a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist. And lastly, I got this question. We are both 80. We've been married since 19 65 high school sweetheart, We continue to enjoy an active sex life, never less than adventurous. We'd be interested in, contributing to a post on sex in the and the elderly. We even had a wonderful threes sum in our seventies, and it continued on from there, but that's where they lost me. If you had a threes sum in your seventies and consider that wonderful, the nope, Certainly not. That is not aligned with what I see in scripture at all. And that is the ruler that we should use to measure those who seek to lead. What example are they setting. And that doesn't mean they need to be perfect. God knows I'm not. But like David being a man after God's own the heart, it does mean that we need to repent of the things that do not align with his will. I don't believe threes sums align with god's will in marriage. So I I will not give people like this an authoritative a voice to teach those things in a space where I have the ability to protect those that might be deceived. Now, does this mean I don't think they should have a voice anywhere? No. I believe in free speech? I think everyone should be able to say all the things right or wrong that they believe and then be challenged by others saying all the things right or wrong that they believe. And the place to do that is in the comments below each blog post. That is an open forum, and you can say whatever you want. Now, I do have some limits and some rules if you're simply rude, I see no reason to honor that, you can go be rude elsewhere if you like. If you're going to be deceptive, same thing. Find another venue. If we're just going in circles and bringing nothing new forward, then I simply don't have the time for that. But if you are respectful, engaged in civil discourse, operating good faith and move the discussion forward, then I'm more than willing to talk with someone who disagrees with me on every single point. And as I write this, we are mid conversation in our supporter form about parenting styles, specifically about spanking. And it's pointed, we're not pulling any punches, but I believe it's respectful and certainly entertaining at least for me and the other primary members involved. Others are, of course, willing to participate or not as they choose, but I love a good theology discussion. And we are pulling versus Greek, stats, everything. And often people will accuse me of deleting comments or editing that, and it's true in some instances, I do. For example, I will edit out any links to porn. And I don't care if you think it's porn or not. I'm not allowing it on my site. Likewise, all new comment are automatically not approved by default. I have to go read their comment and then approve it because the amount of absolute garbage I get from first time come who are just spam is appalling, and I'm just not willing to let that be on my site until the next time I can get to it. So if you comment and it's not showing right away, that's because I haven't gotten to it yet. Now sometimes people disagree with my assessment of the situation, you know, what I think is appropriate or not, whether they're being rude or not, But while, it's my quote unquote house. I can choose what I allowed to enter into my house. And it's not that I'm trying to silence them were their ideas, it's just that I can't be bothered to entertain them if they can't be at least respectful. So please engage with the questions in the comments if you agree or if you disagree either way. I welcome it. Most people know about me that I actually quite enjoy it when people disagree with me. It's 1 of the reasons I hang out in bible study groups that are not from my denomination. And I don't find disagreement disrespectful. So long as you are respectful in your discourse. I think 1 of the things the world needs more of is civil disagreements between opposing signs without resort to disrespect, demon immunization and threats or worse of violence. Sadly, all of which I've witnessed from Christians on my blog, including pastors. And that is it for today. Now, if you have a question, feel free to ask it on or have a question page. There's a link in the show notes. If you'd like to tackle something that's a little bit harder, and it can't be solved by a simple question, consider booking, It could discovery call to see if coaching is right for you. And, yeah, if you've got time, please check out the survey, it won't take you that long to answer it. It's pretty simple. And we'd really appreciate your voice. Talk to you next time.